Goodbyes & New Beginnings

endingsbeginnings
source - Tumblr

Hi sweethearts!
What have you been up to? It's August already, I can't believe it! In exactly a week I'll be on a plane on my way to New York (and beyond!). That awful cliché "time flies when you're having fun" is definitely applicable to my life...

Last week I've said goodbye many times already. I'm not made for goodbyes. The thought freaks me out, I always have to almost-cry (or full-on-cry...) and I never seem to find the right words to say - and when I do, it's when I walk away.
I know I'm only going away for four months, which is nothing. However, my life as I know it won't be waiting for me when I get back. I'll come home in a different home and I will have to look for a place of my own. I have to find a new job. I will have found out, as harsh as it sounds, who are meant to stay in my life: four months across an ocean will naturally not leave room for superficial friendships. Which is fine, I'm ready to give all of my attention and love to people who are happy to return it :) It's just that everything will be different. But that's okay. 

And about that thing they call love... I have not really talked about it yet and I'm not sure I ever will (it's just so personal), but let's just say that my life has taken a 180 these past five weeks and leaving the continent does not necessarily make that situation very easy! Especially not when you're a planner, like me, and would always kill for a peek into the future - to prepare for what's coming. However, this whole adventure (the past month included) has forced me to discover another part of myself: the part that cares a little less and enjoys a little more. I wouldn't be myself if I wouldn't have my occasional worries and insecurities; however, I've found out that life is so much more fun when you let things go. I am one very lucky girl - to feel these certain feelings and to receive them - and I am very thankful that someone has showed me (and continues to do so) that sometimes the best way to live your life is to be unprepared for it. Amazing things can happen if the plan is that there is no plan ;)

If I may quote one of the most inspirational bloggers and prettiest girls out there, Katie (seriously though, go read that article), I can say that this past month I chose to be alive. No more mentally running away from the "scary" future. Living in the moment is what has made me so happy this summer, and I'm definitely continuing that mindset these upcoming four months (and beyond that, for sure).
Yes, I'm shitting my pants already thinking about how I'm going to survive all by myself, when I hardly know how to fix the tires of my bike or get the washing machine to do what I want (to name just two examples haha). But I will promise myself that I'm going to wake up every single day like it is the first day of the rest of my life. Because it is. I choose to be alive, I choose to love and therefore it will be my own responsibility to be a very, very happy girl.
And I'm doing pretty good so far :)

Just a week before a new chapter in my life begins. 
I cannot wait to take you guys on this journey with me!

- Leneth